Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
