Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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