so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
