I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
