Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
