She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
