Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
