Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
