Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
