Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
