Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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