...so i touched it.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
