So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
