I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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