i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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