party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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