She just used a chaser for red wine.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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