still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
