ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
