We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
