who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
