my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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