My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize
