hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
