So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
