apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
