I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
