i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
