To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
