so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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