I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i was born a porn star she said
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
