she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
