I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
