I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
