Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
