There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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