party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My ass is underappreciated
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
