and you said cock pushups were impossible
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
they're like a gay fantastic four
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
