Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
