why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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