I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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