I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
