I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
