Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
