I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
