three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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