so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
