4 words: hood of his car
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
