So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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