I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
