its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
